I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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