ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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