Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?

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  (815): the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest? http://tfl.nu/605y
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (1244)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg

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  (508): he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg http://tfl.nu/z4cs
  Replies (5) Good night (719) Bad night (2900)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow. You named your rash.

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  (703): the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch. (717): Wow. You named your rash. http://tfl.nu/cxl6
  Replies (22) Good night (925) Bad night (4097)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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  (516): I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume http://tfl.nu/0r2u
  Replies (47) Good night (2178) Bad night (4568)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!

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  (816): Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?! http://tfl.nu/jlrn
  Replies (32) Good night (808) Bad night (6179)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside

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  (425): we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside http://tfl.nu/0lr5
  Replies (26) Good night (5498) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now

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  (708): We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now http://tfl.nu/mm02
  Replies (22) Good night (7267) Bad night (1142)
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  (619): View more from California

  I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.

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  (619): I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas. http://tfl.nu/5tys
  Replies (23) Good night (4039) Bad night (1007)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?

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  (413): dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions? http://tfl.nu/wa33
  Replies (23) Good night (2689) Bad night (719)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.

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  (913): "Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3cka
  Replies (6) Good night (1332) Bad night (550)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.

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  (606): Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7yx3
  Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  What's the place called?

  (916): View more from California

  I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results

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  (916): What's the place called? (916): I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results http://tfl.nu/7h1g
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (370)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia

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  (708): Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia http://tfl.nu/57sg
  Replies (6) Good night (363) Bad night (1012)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'

  (614): View more from Ohio

  omg so drunk

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  (614): I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen' (614): omg so drunk http://tfl.nu/cinp
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (362)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.

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  (503): I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops. http://tfl.nu/aobd
  Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (510)

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