Having a random hookup so left but love u
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize