So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.