Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...

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  (248): Party's warming up, a tranny just got here... http://tfl.nu/y3c5
  Replies (1) Good night (4801) Bad night (1645)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.

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  (518): i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke. http://tfl.nu/bbix
  Replies (24) Good night (4179) Bad night (768)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.

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  (918): She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in. http://tfl.nu/ogcc
  Replies (59) Good night (8116) Bad night (1045)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking

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  (603): i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking http://tfl.nu/kntc
  Replies (17) Good night (5341) Bad night (890)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses

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  (801): I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses http://tfl.nu/98sm
  Replies (10) Good night (2653) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

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  (906): Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am? http://tfl.nu/ceer
  Replies (12) Good night (2728) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.

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  (605): Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs. http://tfl.nu/6a2k
  Replies (14) Good night (2072) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.

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  (972): Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate. http://tfl.nu/fawd
  Replies (6) Good night (1576) Bad night (626)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that

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  (541): She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that http://tfl.nu/pcsr
  Replies (6) Good night (494) Bad night (1112)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.

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  (256): Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive. http://tfl.nu/eyz9
  Replies (8) Good night (878) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets

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  (630): I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets http://tfl.nu/owc7
  Replies (7) Good night (1060) Bad night (583)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.

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  (541): After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave. http://tfl.nu/k4g0
  Replies (5) Good night (757) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back

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  (540): Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back http://tfl.nu/kuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (362)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak

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  (585): I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak http://tfl.nu/2vt3
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?

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  (781): In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex? http://tfl.nu/6zay
  Replies (9) Good night (489) Bad night (894)

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