Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!

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(330): View more from Ohio

It's just like the Real World with babies

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(503): View more from Oregon

So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

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(769): View more from Mississippi

she said she likes her vagina punished

(1-769): View more from Mississippi

being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.

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(613): View more from Ontario

She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.

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(618): View more from Illinois

At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.

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(248): View more from Michigan

At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?

(248): View more from Michigan

I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.

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