I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.