Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
