Don't make out with my wife yet
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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