Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
