A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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