no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
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He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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