jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT