my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
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How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?