he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint