Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail