Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
