I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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