I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
