I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
