Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
