why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
