if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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