I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I want her autograph on my taint
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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