She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
