If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
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She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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