508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
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