Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
