Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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