I think I am morally bankrupt
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's never too late to be topless.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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