i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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