Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
whose parrot is this?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
