Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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