Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
