like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
