This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
