Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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