I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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