"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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