last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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