come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
