escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
