those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
