i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
