This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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