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• (314): View more from Missouri

  First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.

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• (209): View more from California

  just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready

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• (+58): View more from

  James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.

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