i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
vagina is talking i cant
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.