Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

I wanna bring you to show and tell

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(415): View more from California

Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.

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(254): View more from Texas

The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium

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(310): View more from California

You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...

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(404): View more from Georgia

we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success

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(703): View more from Virginia

she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."

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