Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens. http://tfl.nu/mq1e
  Replies (14) Good night (3026) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band. http://tfl.nu/wzbw
  Replies (32) Good night (6021) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis. (410): and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap. http://tfl.nu/onen
  Replies (26) Good night (1121) Bad night (2832)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now. (412): wtf? (610): Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit. http://tfl.nu/b93y
  Replies (22) Good night (877) Bad night (3520)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around http://tfl.nu/e0gz
  Replies (14) Good night (2135) Bad night (5872)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common http://tfl.nu/qmer
  Replies (47) Good night (1330) Bad night (4433)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery." http://tfl.nu/8w5e
  Replies (11) Good night (1418) Bad night (4206)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere http://tfl.nu/b03s
  Replies (10) Good night (3356) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties. http://tfl.nu/z2k6
  Replies (8) Good night (2415) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding. http://tfl.nu/7yg0
  Replies (14) Good night (3491) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done. http://tfl.nu/9ur9
  Replies (1) Good night (1561) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things. http://tfl.nu/zj1a
  Replies (6) Good night (2854) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He didn't think we needed a taxi

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving (301): He didn't think we needed a taxi http://tfl.nu/o7fa
  Replies (1) Good night (1435) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out. http://tfl.nu/zox5
  Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy. http://tfl.nu/fsqc
  Replies (0) Good night (605) Bad night (206)

Randomize