The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
