Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.

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  (708): Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick. http://tfl.nu/pzxf
  Replies (21) Good night (1166) Bad night (2727)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.

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  (251): Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance (303): It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime. http://tfl.nu/1z36
  Replies (16) Good night (2380) Bad night (690)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!

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  (413): apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be! http://tfl.nu/gcwe
  Replies (18) Good night (1079) Bad night (2603)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

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  (704): you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/wl2h
  Replies (12) Good night (1649) Bad night (3543)
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  (718): View more from New York

  we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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  (718): we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love. http://tfl.nu/cgcu
  Replies (9) Good night (4939) Bad night (1011)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.

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  (216): the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again. http://tfl.nu/jfz7
  Replies (6) Good night (786) Bad night (3532)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.

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  (410): We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES. http://tfl.nu/638m
  Replies (15) Good night (2823) Bad night (1095)
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  (323): View more from California

  I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel

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  (323): I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel http://tfl.nu/ythu
  Replies (5) Good night (1421) Bad night (526)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.

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  (712): ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was. http://tfl.nu/plh1
  Replies (3) Good night (463) Bad night (1086)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.

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  (734): He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls. http://tfl.nu/b02k
  Replies (6) Good night (1972) Bad night (398)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP

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  (240): Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP http://tfl.nu/rq2g
  Replies (0) Good night (666) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.

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  (312): 2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits. http://tfl.nu/57o4
  Replies (8) Good night (872) Bad night (378)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  he seemed brazillian..

  (312): View more from Illinois

  fuck.

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  (312): I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face (1-312): he seemed brazillian.. (312): fuck. http://tfl.nu/np08
  Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (472)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.

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  (415): I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids. http://tfl.nu/608j
  Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.

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  (870): She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen. http://tfl.nu/olb0
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (195)

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