How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
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i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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