Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life

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  (802): Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life http://tfl.nu/rdws
  Replies (37) Good night (794) Bad night (3250)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.

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  (434): Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/ab13
  Replies (41) Good night (837) Bad night (3485)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome

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  (970): we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome http://tfl.nu/ziv6
  Replies (32) Good night (688) Bad night (9181)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...

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  (305): Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid... http://tfl.nu/f15q
  Replies (37) Good night (8455) Bad night (574)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!

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  (276): So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job! http://tfl.nu/fkyk
  Replies (11) Good night (3792) Bad night (871)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings

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  (519): You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings http://tfl.nu/jmrv
  Replies (2) Good night (1550) Bad night (2626)
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  (213): View more from California

  there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.

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  (213): there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/2p84
  Replies (11) Good night (2622) Bad night (956)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.

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  (740): As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there. http://tfl.nu/knxy
  Replies (11) Good night (3387) Bad night (636)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not seeing this movie with you.

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  (405): VAGINAS ASSEMBLE! (580): I'm not seeing this movie with you. http://tfl.nu/6pon
  Replies (9) Good night (1512) Bad night (944)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit

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  (702): Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit http://tfl.nu/wvyu
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (906)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea

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  (907): Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea http://tfl.nu/9w6p
  Replies (6) Good night (271) Bad night (549)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost

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  (775): Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost http://tfl.nu/neal
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (304)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.

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  (306): my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets. http://tfl.nu/lsez
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (252)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.

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  (814): Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good. http://tfl.nu/cttc
  Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (267)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent

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  (407): I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent http://tfl.nu/qh18
  Replies (3) Good night (284) Bad night (420)

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