Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
