I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Plan B is the new Plan A
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
