I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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