Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize