After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
