i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
