yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
