i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
