Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
