I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
