remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
