What did we do last night that was yellow?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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