It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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