what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
