He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
