Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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