Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
