If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
