I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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