haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
