Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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