wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
