Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
