that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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